I'm far too impatient. I flew out to meet him at his parents' house in France, and I bit the words back for days. He was totally bewildered, as it was a few years ahead of his schedule If you know what you want, why wait? The truth is, no matter how traditional some heterosexual couples want to be, homosexual couples are, by definition, changing the game.
Gone are the days when a woman needed to wait around to be picked by a man to no longer place a burden on her family—so why are we still waiting to do the asking? We never talked about getting married but we started dating at age 18 and life was so messy then, between college, graduating, figuring out a postgrad life, etc.
When things felt settled and we both had decent jobs and our own place to live, I started hinting at the idea of marriage. He always would smile and laugh but he never like made a move or said he was planning on proposing. But he said yes and I forgave him for being dumb and not thinking of proposing first. Everyone thought it was a joke. It was—but it also was not. Two weeks post-cruise, he got on one knee and asked me, [too].
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Cue a lot of jealous followers. The 62 percent who didn't feel their proposal was romantic enough also didn't find it to be original. Try using the proposal as a way to highlight what's special about your individual relationship, you might get a yes either way but why not start the rest of your lives off the best way you can?
Trailing closely behind lack of a ring, 30 percent of women surveyed said not getting down on one knee was the biggest proposal faux pas. She attributes this to social media.
Now, when a couple gets engaged, the Facebook or Instagram post is an essential part of the process. This particular conception of a proposal is solidified by American pop culture. There are hundreds of memorable proposal scenes in modern TV and movies, most of which follow a familiar script. As more women assume traditionally male roles at work, the traits that distinguish men and women in relationships become harder to see. When a man plans an elaborate scheme to ask his girlfriend to marry him—when he builds a telescope, or rents out a stadium, or presents his partner with a seventeen-carat diamond hidden inside a Ring Pop—a person is going to feel special.
Even if a couple is already living together, marriage is a big step. There are important questions to ask: How will finances work? Would you move across the country for a job?
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